Realize, I Am the Storm
Sponsored by: The Boutique Station and Stanger Construction.
(This is the poem I read at the Author Talk at the St. Charles Public Library on November 17, 2021. There will also be a video posted to social media.)
You don’t realize what light is without seeing the opposite: darkness.
You don’t realize what color is without seeing the opposite: black.
You don’t realize what happiness is without feeling the opposite: anger, sadness.
You don’t realize what life is, how short life is, and how precious life is until you near the opposite: death.
You don’t realize how vulnerable you are in this thing called life until you see how close vulnerability can take you to the opposite: death.
I saw the other side, so now I’m alive. I strive to thrive for my little boy who unknowingly watches my recovery. It’s the discovery of myself, my true self. We won a second chance, and we’re alive. My son, we survived.
Having this life-altering event then epiphany has made me realize that I will not tolerate the hate. I will not tolerate to be treated like dirt. I have been, and it hurt. But did I revert to the person I was before? Nope. I’m alert, overt, and no longer do I hurt. With death, I prevail. With life, I flirt.
Believe me when I say I’m done being passive. I have found how to stand my ground. Even if you don’t know my background; hear my sound, all around I’m bound to share my story and spread this hope. With you.
You can cope and become better than who you were originally supposed to be. No longer do I mope, and I don’t walk on a tightrope. I don’t walk on eggshells, nope. Instead, I fill the air with this thing called hope. So climb that slope, conquer the hill because still you can and you will fulfill your life, your hopes, and your dreams, even if you’ve suffered trauma. I won’t let you give up.
I won’t. So don’t.
Believe me when I say I will not be manipulated, dictated, deflated, castrated. Instead, I’ve created – this beautiful life.
These gaslighters, they discriminate and facilitate their own hate to alleviate their own insecurities. But wait, hear me state, I’m done. Stop the culture of judgements and comparisons. These people, they berate, it’s a trait, but it’s not fate, it’s checkmate. Because I’m done. I’ve won.
I’m done being silenced, you see? It’s me. Standing in front of you, free. Now watch me be all I wanted to be. Because I’m free. It’s beautiful, this thing called life. Don’t you agree?
I’m done being minimized. But are you surprised? Don’t criticize. But be advised I’ve analyzed my demise. And that’s not where I want to be. They don’t realize they compromise their own integrity. They just don’t see. But open your eyes and realize, gaslighters, that I’m a fighter.
I’m done being degraded, suffocated, baited.
Now I bring the thunder. I carry the control. There’s no loophole to enroll. It’s in your soul. The potential you carry. It’s there, I promise. You have the strength to be bigger and better than who you were originally going to be. You see?
I’m not waiting for the storm to pass. No. I won’t conform to this norm any longer of being passive and just getting along. I’m strong. And I’ll perform as my own art form.
Again, I’m not waiting for the storm to pass. I am no longer a victim.
Because I am the storm.
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