Updated: Jan 3, 2021
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I snap awake, my eyes wide open, knowing exactly what that noise is.
“Oh F***,” I think to myself.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
This is the noise of my SimpliSafe alarm system. That dreaded beep that sounds when the alarm is set and one of the doors/windows are opened, or one of the other sensors are triggered. And any minute here that alarm is going to turn into an ear shattering, high-pitched siren alarming intruders that they’ve been caught. And if I don’t disarm the alarm, I would be receiving a phone call from my alarm company letting me know my alarm has been triggered, asking if they should notify the police. And if I don’t answer, the police will come.
I don’t care what time it is. But I instantly remember that my son is laying next to me in bed. He’s still sound asleep. He crawled in with me sometime in the middle of the night.
My guard dog is laying by me in bed. She’s not growling. She’s not hearing noises. She’s showing concern only because I’m sitting up in bed in the middle of the night. She’s staring at me, not the hallway.
I hop out of bed, my heart racing. Think fast. I go to the place I stash my loaded gun and consider pulling it out. But I don’t. My security system #2, my dog, is not concerned. So instead I race into the kitchen sliding across the floor as the *beep beep beep* turned into that ear-shattering siren. I make my way to the keypad and press in my code to shut off the alarm. My heart is still racing, my breathing is labored, and you’d never know I was just sleeping less than 30 seconds ago because of how instantly awake I am now. My dog is by my side, confused. Did I do the right thing? Should I have locked the bedroom door and waited for the police to come and figure out what happened? But did I really want Little Man to have to go through this if it was a false alarm? Should I have brought the gun? I had so many thoughts flying through my head every millisecond that went by.
The keypad shows that it was the patio door that had been opened. From my view, it was clearly not open. I creep over to the door with my dog by my side. All reinforcements I have on my patio door are still in place. I turned on the light and notice that one of my sensors is falling off, and that is what triggered the alarm. Relief… I reinforce the sensor with tape, double check my other locks, and re-set my alarm.
I turn off the lights, except for the 10 nightlights I have sprinkled around my house and make my way back to my bedroom where my little man is still sleeping soundly.
My dog follows close behind me and hops up onto the bed. She’s laying on my son’s legs looking up at me. Even with my overhead light off, it’s not dark in my room considering my night lights. I finally check the time.
I snuggle with my dog and lay my head down on the pillow facing my little man. While my heart is racing but less viciously, and my labored breathing is finally starting to calm, I try to compose myself enough to not wake him up. I could carry him back to bed. But seeing his innocent eyes lightly shut, his mind lost in his dreams, and his chest rising and falling ever so slightly with each breath he takes, is far more comforting having him here than moving him back to his bed where he would be out of my sight.
My dear son, I’m so glad you didn’t wake. I’m so glad you didn’t have to be scared with me. I’m so glad you are safe.
As you can imagine, I didn’t sleep well after this. But eventually my thoughts faded, the lights in my room faded, and I settled enough to drift off to sleep again. And as always, the morning would bring a sense of uneasiness, being on edge, and triggers that had previously been calmed.
“Hi, Mama,” my little man says as he snuggles my face.